Doing vs. Being

Many people reacted to my post on FB yesterday evening about getting an email from a former client.Thank you for such heartfelt responses.

I have been thinking more about it. My conclusion yesterday was about doing vs. being.

Some people responded that a combination is possible.
This is of course true.
However it made me reflect more on what ‘being’ really means to me.

I have often been asked to describe what I ‘do’ in therapy. Whether it’s one to one, or in a group. And I have always found it quite difficult to answer this question.

Then, not very long ago, it occurred to me that what I do, or try to, is to attune to where the other person is. I attune to her or his ‘essence’ . And I hold the contact with that and see what arises in that field.

I have had to learn to stay grounded in myself during this process. Otherwise I am not really completely present.

A relational field then comes into being in which change may occur.

Because I felt that this was about being present, much of the time it didn’t feel like ‘work’. And when it did, I knew I was off track. Not following that which was arising, but trying too hard.

And that is tiring.

I have recently given up the beautiful practice premises in the building where I worked for more than half of my forty years as a therapist.

I have cut back on the number of clients I take on as I have other areas on which I want to focus. It is time to become more of a teacher and a writer. As well as singing and painting.

I am grateful for all the hundreds of people who entrusted me with their secrets, their shame, their pain. And their joy and laughter.

I have learned and am still learning from all.
Above all, I am still learning to be truly present. For myself and with the other.